In my dream I was walking around a city I wasn’t familiar with, with five people I knew in my dream as friends.
Suddenly a loud siren started screaming – like an air raid siren – filling me with a flood of dread. It was an omen that something terrible was coming. Just as I felt panic, I saw people began to panic around me.
The sky had now darkened and was covered with purple and grey clouds. We all looked up and could see huge pterodactyl-type birds flying in the sky, swooping to pick up people, and destroying buildings by hitting them with their wings.
People were running and screaming, and buildings were crumbling to the ground. I remember there was a look of terror on everyone’s faces.
In the chaos I lost everyone, except now, I had a young toddler in my arms – a boy – I don’t know where he came from, but all I cared about was keeping him safe.
In the midst of my fear, I realised we needed to get somewhere safe, and in my dream I was aware of the location of an underground supermarket. We made our way there while everything around us was being smashed. The panic level around me was extremely high, as was my own. I kept moving.
With the boy in my arms, I ran down the steps that led to an underground concrete car park where the supermarket was. The supermarket doors were closed but I could see people were crammed inside. A man on the inside manually slid open the automatic door to let us in, and then he closed the door and locked it behind us.
I felt immediate relief that we were somewhere safe. I was also aware we had food to last a while if we needed it. I sat down and put the boy down next to me, and as soon as I could catch my breath an odd impulse came over me. I remember wondering, should I just go and sit in a corner, get drunk on wine and smoke cigarettes and wait this out?
I was aware I had given up cigarettes in my dream (as in real life), and I was also aware there was a bottle shop in this supermarket.
The thought was fleeting. I knew what I had to do. I made sure the boy was safe with the man who’d let me in (who I strangely trusted), and I prepared to open the door to go back up to the surface to look for my friends.
I woke up at this point, and I felt like the dream hadn’t ended. It also took me a while to separate my dream-self from real life.
As I’m writing it down, I’m seeing it’s an accurate representation of where I am now. There’s a lot of meaning in this dream underneath the scary surface.
In the dream and in real life, I lost my friends due to a catastrophe.
But I ended up with something new and precious – a young child I’m now trying to protect with all of my being. This is my new project – a creative and spiritual child that I’m aware I need to keep alive. I know how important this is.
In my dream I managed to find a way out of the chaos, because I knew of a safe place, under the surface – a place where I know this child will be safe, where it has food to be nourished. This is my inner world.
As soon I can rest, old impulses (like avoidance and addiction) come up again – triggering me to crawl into a corner to get drunk and smoke. I’m aware I can’t do this anymore – I know I must do what’s right. Now I’m in a place where this special child is safe, I need to go back up and find the others.
Another dream from 2017 during my time at rock bottom. Now, in December 2020, I can see that dream was quite prophetic. My project (my child) has been nurtured. I’ve kept it safe and it’s grown. Soon I’ll be exiting my underground cave (my inner world), to connect with community again.